


Magical Golf

by whoneedsapublisher



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 20:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14625996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoneedsapublisher/pseuds/whoneedsapublisher
Summary: Magical girls fight for love, truth, and justice! At least, they’re supposed to.





	Magical Golf

Adjusting the pole slightly, I convince myself that it’s secure and turn back towards the specs in the distance that I know are my friends, situated at the other side of the island. From my position fifty feet in the air, it’s hard to tell which is which.

Preparations complete, I fly back towards them.

Oh, I should I explain.

Hi, I’m Reina Sugihara. More importantly, I’m Happiness Passion. A magical girl.

As I finish my rapid flight and screech to a halt next to the rest of my group, a small creature gives me a dirty look. His name is Po, and looks like something between a very cute rat and a very ugly cat. I think he had another name, but he gave up correcting us a long time ago. He’s the source of our powers, allegedly, and the one who gave us our names.

“This is a flagrant misuse of the divine gifts you have been granted,” he hisses, making the rat comparison ever more appropriate.

“Aw, shut up, you little buzzkill,” Miki said, swatting at him as he dodges out of the way of her clumsy swipe. “It’s not like we’re knocking over convenience stores. For now.”

Miki is Happiness Peace. I think Po may in fact be an idiot. If nothing else, he certainly isn’t very good at naming things.

“There’s no need for violence, Miki,” I say, not bothering with code names. We rarely do. Po looks gratefully at me, and I proceed to crush his hopes. “He can’t do anything about it anyway, let him whine.”

Po glares at me, betrayed.

“I could take your powers away,” he mutters darkly. Suddenly, there’s the tip of a spear in his face.

“Oh?” Yuriko says, her calm tone belying her aggressive actions. “I seem to recall an insistence that our participation in this farce was essential to the survival of the world. That ‘no one else would do’, I believe you said. If you’ve been wasting this much of my time, quite uncompensated I might add, and it turns out that anyone would have done, I believe I might just have to sell you to a zoo. Or perhaps a butcher.”

Yuriko, of course, is Happiness Charity.

“Alright, enough of this crap,” Miki says, stretching. “Everything’s ready, right Reina?”

“Yes. You can see the flag, right?”

“Hell yeah!” Miki says, summoning a giant hammer. “Let’s do this shit!”

Pulling it back, she swings with all her might at the ball we’ve summoned, an object with a texture like a golf ball but a size more like a beachball.

“FIVE!” she screams, and whallops it with all her might. It flies off into the distance, and I see some trees collapse between it and the flag.

“It’s fore, you imbecile,” Yuriko hisses.

“Yeah, if you suck, maybe. I’m one better than four,” Miki says, smirking. Yuriko gives her a withering look.

“Have fun finding your ball after that brainless drive, you inelegant oaf,” she says, daintily setting up her own ball and staring fixedly at the flag in the distance, her mouth moving silently as she calculates. Finally, she draws back her spear and then smacks the ball with the flat of the head, sending the ball whizzing into the air, arching over the forest and bouncing off the flag.

She clicks her tongue in disappointment as the bounce sends it back into the forest. “Drat.”

“Ha! Nice job, _oaf_ ,” Miki snarks, and Yuriko treats her to another glare.

Now it’s my turn.

Summoning my own weapon, I pick up the ball and toss it into the air. Leaping up after it, I cock my arm back and the second it crosses my eye level, I slam my gauntlet into it at full force.

It flies straight at the flag, slicing through the pole. But before Yuriko can gloat about my excess use of power, it pings off a mountain behind the flag, collides with the pole again and drops like a stone.

“...You didn’t just get a hole in one,” Yuriko says, barely concealed fury in her words.

“I think I might have,” I say calmly. “Let’s check.”

Flying over together and ignoring the wrecked trees, we inspect the pit we dug for the ball. Sure enough, my ball is sitting snugly in the center.

“Looks like this round is mine,” I say as Miki growls in frustration and Yuriko rubs the bridge of her nose. “What’s next?”

“Knocking over a convenience store sounded kind of fun, actually,” Yuriko says, a terrible little smile on her face.

“Hey, don’t go full villain on us,” Miki says, elbowing her playfully. Yuriko is less than amused. “How about we do some boxing?”

“Ugh, absolutely not,” Yuriko says, wrinkling her nose. “You just want a chance to make me as ugly as you.”

Miki laughs, but there’s a dangerous edge to it. “You say you don’t want to fight me, and then you throw out fighting words like those?”

Clearly, I have to come up a better idea fast, or they really will fight. Luckily, I have one.

“How about shot put?”

And that’s how we ended up putting a bowling ball through the Radio Kaiken building.

In my defense, I did throw it the farthest.

 


End file.
